Life post 2
There’s a girl I like, yet I’ve failed to tell her on more than one occasion. Most of it is nerves, fear, assuming that rejection is certain. It happens but I can’t get over that hump.
More importantly, it’s when someone gets hurt. I’m talking about a third party. Obviously, not going to use names because I figure someone is going to read this and I know it’s somewhat silly to post life happenings on the interwebs. That’s just me though because tumblr feels like a sanctuary in comparison to other forms of social media. It’s like my fortress of solitude.
Anyway, when someone else’s feelings are hurt, I definitely feel a lot of guilt. I know I’m the cause of the pain. A friend once told me that if you ever break someone, the best thing to do is hope they rebound and realize they can rise higher than ever thought possible. They learn to value themselves and attain a new level of confidence.
As for myself, I should learn to take that leap and be ready to adapt. Again, directly quoting my friend, “can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.”
Taking a road trip to Florida was the highlight of my summer. It was a much needed vacation from what seemed like a stagnant life, living day to day, not really experiencing anything new.
Coming back to my own bed was amazing because let’s be real, nothing compares to the comfort of your own mattress. On top of that, a new mattress that you bought on $600+ worth of credit. (Half of it has been paid off already.)
Unfortunately, reality has been a bit harder than usual. Number one, I’ve been experiencing a strange pain in my groin area. Now I did what most people would do, which is google that shit. They say it’s never a good idea to self diagnose yourself because you tend to associate whatever ailment you have with something pretty bad. In this case, I was sure I had all the makings of a hernia. My doctor did a check up and first diagnosed me with something called hip bursitis which is a stress of the hip area.
However, I was not convinced, as the pain continued and increased in intensity within the following days. Therefore, I asked to have an x-ray done. Still, nothing, no fracture nor tumors. Nothing.
To cope with the pain, I’ve worn a brace around my waist. It does the trick but it certainly feels like I’m an old man who can’t walk without the support of a cane.
On top of that, I have a physical abilities test for a job I’ve applied for, followed by physical therapy as recommended by my doctor.
The frustration lies in the fact that I want to be physically well again to hit the gym routinely and not have to rely on a brace.
It’s been difficult to stay motivated but just over a month ago, I weighed around 240. I began running 1-2 miles a day and making 4-5 trips to the gym per week. On this day, I want to say that it feels great to break the 220 mark.
I took my little brother (who falls on the autism spectrum) to see Guardians of the Galaxy and after this scene he lit up like a Christmas tree and screamed “He’s like me! He can’t do metaphors!” And for the rest of the film my brother stared at Drax in a state of rapture.
So for the last 6 days I have heard my brother repeatedly quote all of the Drax lines from the movie verbatim (one of his talents), begin studying vocabulary test words, and tell everyone he knows that people with autism can also be superheroes.
Now I am not saying that Drax the Destroyer is, or was ever, intended to be autistic. All I am saying is that it warmed my heart to see my brother have an opportunity to identify himself with a character known for his strength, badassness, and honor. And that is pretty damn awesome.
So while I adored Guardians of the Galaxy as a great fun loving film with cool characters I can do nothing but thank Marvel Studios and Dave Bautista for finally bringing a superhero to the screen that my little brother can relate to.